Thursday, April 23, 2009

Attack of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee : MyFreeImplants.com revisted.

By Zachary Huff, Life and Leisure Editor
The article I had written last week on myfreeimplants.com has garnered me the most comments for any of my stories ever on our paper’s website (www.rutgersobserver.com). Most of those comments weren’t too positive. So I figured that I should say a few words about it.

It was an attempt at a humorous article written by a person who is clearly speaking as an outsider to the site. I did not present the front that I was an active member of the site. I was merely a person who found out about the site and wrote on what I saw and read on the parts of the site available to the general public. I also never asserted that I had spoken to anyone involved in the site.

Like most people who stumble upon a site they’ve never seen or heard of, I poured over all of the available information on the site. Consequently, that’s exactly what my article is based on: direct quotes given as a description of the site as a description and enticement for people to learn about and to make them long to join the community.

In the case of Betty, I felt compelled to mention her. She looks like a normal, everyday girl, not hyper glamorous or perfectly done up with makeup and hair styling. The sheer discrepancy in the amount of money she had raised compared to the other girls on the homepage seemed rather insulting and offensive to the woman. She’s out there, her face attached to a minimal amount of money, as one thing that visitors to the site are bound to see first. I’d be pretty hurt if I was Betty, so I felt the need to point out her situation in my piece.

But the major thing that needs to be understood about my article, as well as Sheena’s article, is that they were written for the Life and Leisure section of the paper. Not news, and not even opinions; rather, it was bound for the happy-go-lucky, anything goes entertainment section of the paper. The idea behind the site, as well as aspects of the site, really struck me. No personal attacks were intended; if anything, it was a commentary of the way that the site is presented through the home page and frequently asked questions. It was a joke. It’s not that serious.

And, just for the record, I will not be joining the pep squad.

By Sheena Quashie, Managing Editor

On April 7th 2009, rapper Jim Jones , was arrested in Teaneck, NJ during the whole ordeal he kept making updates on his Twitter account via blackberry. The next day local papers ran the story . The rapper retaliated by - well- writing another Twitter message about how the papers were writing about him Twittering.

When I read this story I couldn’t help but throw my head back and lol a hearty lol. The same way I find it amusing when any public figure does something foolish then wants to pretend like they suddenly need a moment of privacy.

Making a website is a lot like like being Jim Jones, it doesn’t take a lot of talent and for reason when people see it it gets attention. Also like Mr. Jones nothing about it is private. In his case it's because he can't blow his nose without micro blogging about it.

Making a public website is much akin to displaying a box on a side walk. In this instance, the box had “Free Implants!”on it. If one is not meant to laugh at something like that then I really don’t know what should we laugh at.

It seems that a selection of Myfreeimplant.com users felt outraged that someone would have the audacity to poke fun and chaste ladies and honorable gents of the site. Well my good noble-people to you I say “HUSH”. Seriously. I would have never thought such a joyless lot would be attracted to free implants.

Okay, that’s a lie.

I never thought such joyless and vocal lot would be attracted to a site like that. I soundly advise the lot of you get over yourselves. I refuse to believe that sane adults can join a site that tells men to give it money so it can pay for breast implants and not expect a chuckle from someone.

You joined this site:

the one with a girl in stripper shoes on the logo and a woman in lingerie standing in front of two giant silicon monsters.

I don’t know if I should be offended by the wanton ignorance or the multiple insults to reader's intelligence posted on both articles.

I’ll quickly address some comments that made me facepalm.

First, up was any comment claiming that I’m bragging about having large breasts, big boobs are awful. I don’t even think my ex boyfriend even knows what my face looks like and many women suffer back pain as well as -gasp- poor self image because people see them as a talking inflatable sex dolls. I don't see how talking about possible long term disfigurement or people underestimating one's intelligence can be a ringing endorsement.

Next, there was a gentleman that claimed our articles was libelous because it misrepresented the site. Zach quoted word for word text from MFI, commented on pictures posted on MFI and ZACH is the one misrepresenting? Its like looking at a mirror and telling your reflection his face is crooked.

Lastly, to the several commentators that claimed an attack on MFI was an attack on breast cancer survivors, MFI is not a charity for cancer survivors. It's a site for-profit site that tells men that implants will make women feel better about themselves.

It was a site founded when a guy was at a bachelor party where party goers gave a stripper extra tips to go get her breasts done. A stripper, its right on “About Us” page. No where on the site is it presented as a charity for the reconstruction of breast cancer survivors.

Instead of feeding into the heterosexist, patriarchal wasteland that is MyFreeImplants.com how about donating directly to the many non-profit organizations that specialize funding reconstruction. There are many that exists, and are fairly easy to locate.

It took me about 2 minutes to locate Vanity 4 Humanity, founded by Dr. Donald Roland of NYC. This orinazation holds fund raising events for cancer survivors. The also don’t require anyone being teased with “sexy pics” nor are there any strippers in the logo. Don’t try to sell people debochery as philanthropy, you’ll just end up embarassing yourself.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MyFreeImplants.com - Healing women one boob job at a time.

Some might see a sea of refund gaps , broken dreams and disappointment. Others might think this site is a testament to the complete moral collapse of society. Those squares would be over reacting, its not like wherever there is a woman desperate for attention, with low self esteem there will be several men behind her scheming of ways she can make them a buck.

You can’t really call this exploitation, at least not solely on the part of men. Clearly there are two parties being pimped here, the men AND the women that sign up for this site are suckers for the select group of doctors that the women have to go to for surgery. Vertical integration never looked so hot. Ain’t capitalism grand?

This site links people together with idea that they are helping a woman profoundly with breast implants. Take this stunner for example.

Before she could only charge, what? 23 dollars for sex so she can fuel her horrific meth addiction.

Meth mouth aside, if it was 1989 she could be an extra in the White Snake video of her choosing. Just check out some of the satisfied customers in the sites before and after gallery. This is the Lord’s work.

The only complaint I have is the laziness; some of these women really need to be asking for boobies to save their floundering adult entertainer careers as they reach their cellulite checkered twilight ,but the others are just in it for the thrill. A bunch of college girls who you could use their financial aid to pay for a new set of breast and many even some lipo. What happened to the days when a gal had to be swinging on a pole 4-8 hours a day to EARN her silicon twins, back then work meant something.

I must say it’s hard for me to relate to these women, not because I’m much better educated, lack daddy issues and have never woke up in a bus station bathroom with a condom up my nose but because in all fairness I live the massive mamoried shangrala these ladies strive for.

I have an AMAZING RACK.
Au natural and I'm not even wearing a bra in that pic. I know they aren’t going to last forever so I’m milking them for all they’re worth now. Ipods, fur coats, laptops, Bentley rides you name it -tittes will get you there.Honestly, I’m only doing this whole school thing so I have something to fall back on once they start to sag. I might find myself in need of a melon upgrade myself, but not too soon, my sweater puppies are perky as the dickens.

Seriously, I base my entire worth as a woman on the fact that my boobs are literally bigger than my head.Not only are they like two massive ten-pound free rides permanently adhered to my chest, which will no doubt leave me looking more like a weeping willow than a human female in the years to come, but they help not only men, but women as well gauge my intelligence quickly and easily.

The correlation between the amount of cleavage on a woman and her IQ was proven in 1956. At a 40G it’s safe to say that I couldn’t possibly achieve much outside the realm of valued sexual conquest or worlds squishiest paper weight. I don’t even care, I have knockers that say ‘gravity be damned, LOOK AT ME! And my isn’t it cold in here.’

I’m happy a site has finally acknowledged just how influential large breasts are for a woman’s self esteem. I mean without them can you imagine what it would be like to suffer poor body image because some unrealistic ideal of beauty has been pushed on you?

It would be like some crazy upside-down world were the natural assets of a woman are tossed in favor of rock-hard chest skin stretching atrocities that seem to exists only to be a dark affront to the very deity of creation.

Man, how could we all sleep in a world like that? Especially if in that dystopia doctors would rather make a quick buck off shallow women and pathetic men than donate their time to help people who need it, like I donno maybe breast cancer survivors?