Monday, October 19, 2009

Only Black people steal bikes.

So I'm cruising the Huffington Post as snooty post grads like myself like to do when they should be looking for real jobs, and I land on this article "

7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Time On Right Now: Choose Your Favorite!


all full of fun and whimsy, I was mildly entertained until I landed on this gem. Missed Connections NYC , on this blog an artist illistrates the quirky Craiglist Missed Connections of her fellow New Yorkers... one entry rubbed me the wrong way.

The Coming and Going of Bicycles (that's life)



Thursday, August 27, 2009
sorry your bike got stolen. its beautiful. when some guy offered it to me for 40 bucks, i didnt even think twice. i was drunk, missing my bike and figured if not me, someone else would buy it anyways. also, my bike got stolen last week. who knows, maybe you bought it for 40 bucks from some guy on the street. so if you see me riding it, feel free to say hey. maybe we could trade back. if not, you can buy it from me for 40 bucks. id buy my old bike back for 40 bucks. it was way more comfortable than this one.


The entire collection is mostly White charaters, unless they were identified as Asian... except the guy who steals bikes... no race mentioned but of course he's a black guy.

Welcome to post racial america... Go Brooklyn ...



Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cory Booker fires back at Late Night Host.



I can't help but agree with Conan, two weeks ago a man was stabbed to death on market street in the middle of the day and got away with it. Last week I was robbed in broad daylight by a tranny hooker. Newark police are going on shot fired calls by themselves becuase Newark doesn't want to hire more cops. If you can get shot in broad daylight an have to wait 30 mins for cops to get there... maybe a bus ticket out of here is a good idea.

Oh and way to show a Newark resident getting violent over nothing as a "joke" aren't you proving what Conan said right there?

Get out the limelight Booker and do something about the knife wielding trannies.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Great flash game


For those of you like me that spend most of their working days in front of a computer pretending to look busy, I've found a great little puzzle game.


It's a cute game with simple mechanics. Click on blocks to make sure the red star falls on the platform. In later levels you have to avoid bombs and learn how to use different shapes to guide the red star. The hauntingly relaxing music

Give it try :3

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Its Coming At Us From All Angles...

First little children of color are booted from a private pool they paid to swim in for fear they would " change the complexion and atmosphere", then Harvard professor, and Black scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr is arrested for breaking into...his own home, now according to The New York Times American's finally are getting a glimpse of our Black president.

You see Obama answered a question that was asked to him honestly and apparently this is the first glimpse of his Blackness. All the time he's pushing bills, okaying legislation and being the leader of the free world I guess he's White. He's only Black when the question is about race. Good job NYT that statement only seems ignorant when I inhale and exhale.

Not to be outdone in tact the CW invited Karrine "SuperHead" Stephans to their morning show yesterday and well... hell just watch it.










I don't think Final Destination 4 is going to have a bigger disaster in it. I feel some type of way about this here. As much as SuperHead is a vexation to my soul just by well, being Superhead I can't feel like she's the only one in the wrong here. While I think if she knew how to act like a lady she could have steered the interview back her way I don't feel her crazy little self was set up to fail here.

I wonder if the male anchor knew that Maya Angelou was a rumpshaker in her day. The big difference between the two is that while Maya was a pimp, a dancer and a jazz floozy in her day, she grew up. She wrote about more than just her sexuality. She honed her craft and became an artist. Maya Angelou too was rapped and abused by men, but she didn't make her money using her vagina like an ATM. She put those things behind her by not writing books glorifying those acts and dropping names. She did not live to promote herself but strives to uplift a people. Superhead, is trying to still make money on being superhead.

Mr.News Anchor was out of pocket with his dismissive rump shaker comment, it was unprofessional and uncalled for even with Karine's unladylike like behavior. I also can't help but think of all the other rumpshakers that were white that never were asked so bluntly about their sex lives. Kim Kardasian is just as famous sole based on her ass and her ability to gobble cocks, yet her interview never was about seducing athletes and musicians even though that's what she's good at.


Superhead was dancing in videos almost 10 years ago, Kim K , will most likely have a new sex tape by the end of the month, but she wasn't dismissed.

I wonder if the male anchor knew that Maya Angelou was a rumpshaker in her day?

I know there is a big difference between the Superhead and Mya Angelou. Yeah, Maya was a pimp, a dancer and a jazz floozy in her day, but in all honestly she grew up. She wrote about more than just her sexuality. She honed her craft and became an artist. Maya Angelou, too was rapped and abused by men, but she didn't make her money using her vagina like an ATM. She put those things behind her by not writing books glorifying those acts and dropping names. She did not live to promote herself but strives to uplift a people. Superhead, is trying to still make money on being superhead.

kinda reminds me of a quote :It would be against all nature for all the Negroes to be either at the bottom, top, or in between. We will go where the internal drive carries us like everybody else. It is up to the individual.
Zora Neale Hurston

Superhead is not ME, she is not ALL Black Women. I think what it boils down to is I'm offended by her existence simply becuase I live in a world that can't separate the two of us.

Friday, July 3, 2009

I Was A Teenaged Sex Offender: Megan’s Law ,Romeos ,Juliets and Sexting

The Federal Sexual Offender Act of 1994, known by its pet name Megan’s Law, was signed into action on the good faith that children and teens would be protected by it. Now in 2009, in light of the addition of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act many parents and teens are shocked to learn that teens are ending up on very registry created to protect them.

Being branded as a sex offender --like staring down a barrel of a loaded gun, life is over. Most sex offenders prosecuted under Megan’s law must carry the label for life and according to State of New Jersey’s Megan’s Law Citizen’s brochure, an offender can only appeal to be removed if they committed only one offense and have been crime free for 15 consecutive years or if they were registered under the age of 14 and have just turned 18. Those appeals are subject to approval.

The registry was designed for rapists and pedophiles, so how would a teen, mostly minors themselves find themselves registering? Former head of Bergen County Prosecutor's Office’s Megan’s Law Unit, Lt. Joe Cilento explains, “ The most obvious way for a teen to be registered is if they commit a sex crime against a younger child, such as forcible rape.”

Even if a minor commits a rape and is not charged as an adult they are required to register as an offender with the possibility of being removed once they become a legal adult.

“There have been cases where two teens have consenting sex, but one teen is under the age of consent, All it takes is one parent making a formal complaint.” Lt. Cilento continued. Such cases have been dubbed “Romeo and Juliet’s”. A plethora of media outlets from the Washington Post to Dateline ABC have followed such stories, the most famous of them being the Feb. 2003 case of Marcus Dixon, a African American, 18 –year-old high school senior who had sex with his White 15-year-old freshman classmate.

Marcus was convicted of aggravated child molestation, and the judge sentenced to 10 years without probation. After much public outcry and an appeal, Dixon’s charges were overturned in favor of a charge of statutory rape for which he was released as time served in 2005. The outcry had little to do with how close in age the two teens were but more so feelings the harsh sentence was racially motivated.

Since the conviction, several other cases have caught the media’s attention, mostly due to the proposal and eventual passing of the 2006 Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. The addendum introduced a tier system that graded offenders by how dangerous they were and treating the offender accordingly. Current Bergen County Prosecutor in charge of the Megan’s Law Unit Lt. Joe Macellaro explained , “the Adam Walsh act supports the sex registry as
constitutional , while allowing each state to organize the tiers of their registry.”

According to findlaw.com , the reason the 2006 law is just being put into effect in 2009 is because after its initial passing a federal judge from Florida argued the sex offender registry violated the offenders the case was dismissed. The only state that currently has yet to comply with the act is Nevada where the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Nevada is arguing that the sex registry is cruel and unusual punishment. Calls to the Nevada ACLU to further explain their platform were not returned.

Rutgers Law Professor and former journalist Frank Askin explains, “Their argument maybe based on a offender having to register for life, it can be interpreted that the offender is being persecuted for life as well, when the sentence doesn’t fit the crime that is cruel and unusual punishment. “

It is now up to each state to define at what age two teens can legally engage in consensual sex, even If one teen is below the age of consent. Mostly these laws allow consensual sex providing there is a 3 to 4 year gap in the ages of the teens and they are no younger than 14 years of age.

Romeos and Juliets are not the only types of teens that face the possibility of being registered sex offenders. A seemingly new threat for the cyber era, they are the “sexters”. This group of teens has fallen pray to their worst enemies, themselves
and it usually happened right under the noses of parents, school officials and police.

It takes less than a second to take a picture, but in those parts of a second a teen can brand themselves for life. Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages, pictures or video clips via cell phones or web devices such as the Apple Ipod Touch. Sexually explicitly images can be instantly shared through Bluetooth or downloaded to computers and other devices.

After sexual photos of teen Disney Channel stars Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens surfaced in 2007, stories of teen and preteen girls taking sexual photos of gained much more exposure. Many earlier stories aired concerns that teens on social networking sites would be luring predators; the outcry led to online giants Myspace.com and Facebook.com adding terms of service clauses barring those that have been convicted of sex crimes from participating on the sites.

A 2008 study by CosmoGirl.com and The National Association to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found that 20% of all teen girl respondents confessed to “sending/posting nude or semi nudes photos of themselves on the net”, with 76% of them sending them to boyfriends or significant others. Though a later Jan. 2009 study found significantly lower numbers of teens sexting the phenomenon is still worrying to many parents.

Sociologist Dr. Janis A. Prince Inniss of EveryDaySociology.com is not
surprised by the rise of the act. “It’s the culture we are raising them in, they are getting their cues from adults. It wasn’t adolescent experimentation that made D.C. Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick send explicit photos to his mistress.” Inniss hypothesizes that because teens feel their phones are safe and private it’s the perfect place to experiment with their sexuality. “To teens it just might not be that big a deal.”

Sexting is more serious a matter to Cynthia and Albert Logan, sexting was a life and death situation. Their 18-year old daughter, Jesse, committed suicide in July 2008 after picture of her were spread in her high school. The teen hanged herself in her closet weeks before she could attend the college of her dreams the University of Cincinnati.

Jesse was a popular and vibrant young girl according to family lawyer Parry Aftab, who specializes in cyber and privacy crimes. The teen sent suggestive photos to her 19 –year old boyfriend when she was still a high school student. The relationship ended the boy sent the pictures to dozens of other teens and teachers.

“It was spiteful character assassination by a boy who felt jilted by a young lady who rejected him,” added Aftab. The Logan’s feel their daughters downward spiral began with being teased for the photos.

“They called her things like slut and whore,” said Cynthia Logan through tears on the Today Show with Matt Lauer.

Jesse had tried to speak out to warn other teens about the potential dangers of sexting, even appearing anonymously on a local news stations.

Jesse’s family and their lawyer are convinced that crimes against Jesse case is are not only distributing child pornography, but also negligence on behalf of the school for not putting an end to the bullying and teasing that tormented her. To date no charges have been filed in this case, but Jesse’s mother continues to work with Internet safety expert Aftab to make sure another suicide is avoidable.

The fear of sexting has been described as “hysteria” by Wired magazine, as parents search for someone to hold accountable. One such sacrificial lamb was Ting Yi Oei, was Assistant Principal of Freedom High School in Chantilly Virginia , he was one of the first school officials to be charged with possession of child pornography after confiscating a “sext” message from the phone of a teen boy. The youth had been soliciting pictures from high school and middle school girls.

Oie, punished the student after the he pulled down the pants of a girl, suspending him for 10 days. The boy’s mother, angry at Oie’s suspension of her son filed charges against Oie for failure to report suspicion of child abuse.

“I was given the choice to resign or be charged with a felony, I refused. I had done nothing wrong,” said Oie.

The prosecutor made good on his word and the educator was charged with possession of pornography, despite the fact that the photo showed no nudity and the face of the girl was cut off, making her unidentifiable. On March 31 his lawyer informed him that all charges were dropped against him as it was ruled that Oie was not in possession of actual pornography.

“It was a witch hunt,” Oie said, though he has had his side of the story, as told by him published in the Washington Post, he feels nothing has changed.

When school officials cannot be held accountable for the actions of teens, some prosecutors have made the shocking decision to prosecute teens themselves.

Parents across the country were shocked to find teens, especially girls facing felony charges like creating and distributing child pornography. Currently a 14-year old Passaic county girl is facing felony charges for sending and posting sexually explicit pictures of herself on Myspace.com. In March 2009 there were over 20 cases in the news of teens in the UN and England being charged either with possession or creation of child pornography.

Child and Forensic Psychology Expert Alberto Goldwaser, MD,DFA, PA thinks it may be risky to charge all teens as sexual felons. “Adolescences are not developed enough to considered the outcome of their actions, at least not in the same way an adult can.” Goldwaser explains that that part of the brain isn’t fully developed until a person is 21-25 years old.

“However, a normal teen knows what is expected of them, a teen knows walking about nude is unacceptable,” said Goldwaser. “Most teens know what they are doing is not acceptable, but many aren’t mature enough to see it as a crime, because they don’t consider consequences. “

Perry Aftab feels a stronger opposition to prosecuting teens, “recent actions by prosecutors are counter productive and revealingly sexist. “ The lawyer explained that, teen girls are most targeted, especially online ”laws are supposed to protect not persecute them.” Aftab pointed out that the teens facing the harshest charges are girls for creating pornography, while less teen boys are charged with the same thing, except in cases where photos were post with malicious intent.

“When someone is registered as a sex offender they are required to go to therapy sessions with other offenders, why would you want a 14 year-old in the same room with a person that could potentially victimize them?” Aftab concluded.

Dr.Innis feels as a society- American culture is sending two conflicting messages to teens, “ On the one hand teen girls, especially girls of color, are bombarded with images of hyper sexualized women as disarable, while at the same time telling them that being sexual is negative.” Innes pointed out how many pop songs were about sexting, including ones from singers Beyonce ,Britney Spears and rapper Soilder Boy. “Girls are being taught this is acceptable behavior and boys are learning to expect it. “

New Jersey Prosecutor Macellaro felt it was difficult to decide what was “fair” in sexting cases, which was why they are decided on the basis of what is legal and what is illegal.

“Its just like teens drinking, if they do it and get away with it they feel no real crime has been committed, now but that teen behind the wheel of a car and they are a deadly force. Kids taking dirty pictures might seem like innocent fun, but those pictures can be easily spread to pedophiles and endanger other youngsters.”

Dr. Goldwaser believes that every case needs presented has a few factors that need to be taken into consideration, “ the totality of the damage done to the community, the development of the child , the child’s intent and if that child has been previously abused or exploited sexually.” He suggest instead of registering as a sex offender a teen would benefit more , if required to

One New Jersey couple took the initiative to deal with the issue head on. Richard and Jacqueline Guerry launched the Institute for Responsible Online and Cell Phone Communication in Jan, 2009. Richard Guerry , is also the founder of successful Cruising With Kids campaign that visits schools and community events to teach , emergency , fire and child safety. The institute focuses on the dangers of cyberbullying , sexting and sex”casting. The Guerrys hope that educating teens and young adults about the dangers of broadcasting sexual images of yourself online With the “Sexting is Stupid” which focuses on teaching teens personal responsibility.

Though in its infant stage, www.iroc2.org, the Institute’s site has information for teachers, parents and teens. The Mount Laurel native hope with education there will never be a tragedy like the loss of Jesse Logan again.

Megan’s Law, like many laws is imperfect and thus is always changing and evolving, according to the Star Ledger, on May 8 the Supreme Court ruled on the validly of local ordinances that restricted were sex offenders were allowed to live, the court struck them down. Perhaps in the future the law will be amended to better protect the youngsters it was created to serve without turning them into felons.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Apparently Times have been very tough for Zangeif

How the mighty have fallen. What would Guile think of you if he saw you this way? Something tells me the acting in this is better than The Legend Of Chung Li

Monday, May 18, 2009

Sorry for the delay!

Sorry I haven't been updating, I've been very busy graduating from college. I'll be back on track soon.

In the meantime this:

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Attack of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee : MyFreeImplants.com revisted.

By Zachary Huff, Life and Leisure Editor
The article I had written last week on myfreeimplants.com has garnered me the most comments for any of my stories ever on our paper’s website (www.rutgersobserver.com). Most of those comments weren’t too positive. So I figured that I should say a few words about it.

It was an attempt at a humorous article written by a person who is clearly speaking as an outsider to the site. I did not present the front that I was an active member of the site. I was merely a person who found out about the site and wrote on what I saw and read on the parts of the site available to the general public. I also never asserted that I had spoken to anyone involved in the site.

Like most people who stumble upon a site they’ve never seen or heard of, I poured over all of the available information on the site. Consequently, that’s exactly what my article is based on: direct quotes given as a description of the site as a description and enticement for people to learn about and to make them long to join the community.

In the case of Betty, I felt compelled to mention her. She looks like a normal, everyday girl, not hyper glamorous or perfectly done up with makeup and hair styling. The sheer discrepancy in the amount of money she had raised compared to the other girls on the homepage seemed rather insulting and offensive to the woman. She’s out there, her face attached to a minimal amount of money, as one thing that visitors to the site are bound to see first. I’d be pretty hurt if I was Betty, so I felt the need to point out her situation in my piece.

But the major thing that needs to be understood about my article, as well as Sheena’s article, is that they were written for the Life and Leisure section of the paper. Not news, and not even opinions; rather, it was bound for the happy-go-lucky, anything goes entertainment section of the paper. The idea behind the site, as well as aspects of the site, really struck me. No personal attacks were intended; if anything, it was a commentary of the way that the site is presented through the home page and frequently asked questions. It was a joke. It’s not that serious.

And, just for the record, I will not be joining the pep squad.

By Sheena Quashie, Managing Editor

On April 7th 2009, rapper Jim Jones , was arrested in Teaneck, NJ during the whole ordeal he kept making updates on his Twitter account via blackberry. The next day local papers ran the story . The rapper retaliated by - well- writing another Twitter message about how the papers were writing about him Twittering.

When I read this story I couldn’t help but throw my head back and lol a hearty lol. The same way I find it amusing when any public figure does something foolish then wants to pretend like they suddenly need a moment of privacy.

Making a website is a lot like like being Jim Jones, it doesn’t take a lot of talent and for reason when people see it it gets attention. Also like Mr. Jones nothing about it is private. In his case it's because he can't blow his nose without micro blogging about it.

Making a public website is much akin to displaying a box on a side walk. In this instance, the box had “Free Implants!”on it. If one is not meant to laugh at something like that then I really don’t know what should we laugh at.

It seems that a selection of Myfreeimplant.com users felt outraged that someone would have the audacity to poke fun and chaste ladies and honorable gents of the site. Well my good noble-people to you I say “HUSH”. Seriously. I would have never thought such a joyless lot would be attracted to free implants.

Okay, that’s a lie.

I never thought such joyless and vocal lot would be attracted to a site like that. I soundly advise the lot of you get over yourselves. I refuse to believe that sane adults can join a site that tells men to give it money so it can pay for breast implants and not expect a chuckle from someone.

You joined this site:

the one with a girl in stripper shoes on the logo and a woman in lingerie standing in front of two giant silicon monsters.

I don’t know if I should be offended by the wanton ignorance or the multiple insults to reader's intelligence posted on both articles.

I’ll quickly address some comments that made me facepalm.

First, up was any comment claiming that I’m bragging about having large breasts, big boobs are awful. I don’t even think my ex boyfriend even knows what my face looks like and many women suffer back pain as well as -gasp- poor self image because people see them as a talking inflatable sex dolls. I don't see how talking about possible long term disfigurement or people underestimating one's intelligence can be a ringing endorsement.

Next, there was a gentleman that claimed our articles was libelous because it misrepresented the site. Zach quoted word for word text from MFI, commented on pictures posted on MFI and ZACH is the one misrepresenting? Its like looking at a mirror and telling your reflection his face is crooked.

Lastly, to the several commentators that claimed an attack on MFI was an attack on breast cancer survivors, MFI is not a charity for cancer survivors. It's a site for-profit site that tells men that implants will make women feel better about themselves.

It was a site founded when a guy was at a bachelor party where party goers gave a stripper extra tips to go get her breasts done. A stripper, its right on “About Us” page. No where on the site is it presented as a charity for the reconstruction of breast cancer survivors.

Instead of feeding into the heterosexist, patriarchal wasteland that is MyFreeImplants.com how about donating directly to the many non-profit organizations that specialize funding reconstruction. There are many that exists, and are fairly easy to locate.

It took me about 2 minutes to locate Vanity 4 Humanity, founded by Dr. Donald Roland of NYC. This orinazation holds fund raising events for cancer survivors. The also don’t require anyone being teased with “sexy pics” nor are there any strippers in the logo. Don’t try to sell people debochery as philanthropy, you’ll just end up embarassing yourself.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MyFreeImplants.com - Healing women one boob job at a time.

Some might see a sea of refund gaps , broken dreams and disappointment. Others might think this site is a testament to the complete moral collapse of society. Those squares would be over reacting, its not like wherever there is a woman desperate for attention, with low self esteem there will be several men behind her scheming of ways she can make them a buck.

You can’t really call this exploitation, at least not solely on the part of men. Clearly there are two parties being pimped here, the men AND the women that sign up for this site are suckers for the select group of doctors that the women have to go to for surgery. Vertical integration never looked so hot. Ain’t capitalism grand?

This site links people together with idea that they are helping a woman profoundly with breast implants. Take this stunner for example.

Before she could only charge, what? 23 dollars for sex so she can fuel her horrific meth addiction.

Meth mouth aside, if it was 1989 she could be an extra in the White Snake video of her choosing. Just check out some of the satisfied customers in the sites before and after gallery. This is the Lord’s work.

The only complaint I have is the laziness; some of these women really need to be asking for boobies to save their floundering adult entertainer careers as they reach their cellulite checkered twilight ,but the others are just in it for the thrill. A bunch of college girls who you could use their financial aid to pay for a new set of breast and many even some lipo. What happened to the days when a gal had to be swinging on a pole 4-8 hours a day to EARN her silicon twins, back then work meant something.

I must say it’s hard for me to relate to these women, not because I’m much better educated, lack daddy issues and have never woke up in a bus station bathroom with a condom up my nose but because in all fairness I live the massive mamoried shangrala these ladies strive for.

I have an AMAZING RACK.
Au natural and I'm not even wearing a bra in that pic. I know they aren’t going to last forever so I’m milking them for all they’re worth now. Ipods, fur coats, laptops, Bentley rides you name it -tittes will get you there.Honestly, I’m only doing this whole school thing so I have something to fall back on once they start to sag. I might find myself in need of a melon upgrade myself, but not too soon, my sweater puppies are perky as the dickens.

Seriously, I base my entire worth as a woman on the fact that my boobs are literally bigger than my head.Not only are they like two massive ten-pound free rides permanently adhered to my chest, which will no doubt leave me looking more like a weeping willow than a human female in the years to come, but they help not only men, but women as well gauge my intelligence quickly and easily.

The correlation between the amount of cleavage on a woman and her IQ was proven in 1956. At a 40G it’s safe to say that I couldn’t possibly achieve much outside the realm of valued sexual conquest or worlds squishiest paper weight. I don’t even care, I have knockers that say ‘gravity be damned, LOOK AT ME! And my isn’t it cold in here.’

I’m happy a site has finally acknowledged just how influential large breasts are for a woman’s self esteem. I mean without them can you imagine what it would be like to suffer poor body image because some unrealistic ideal of beauty has been pushed on you?

It would be like some crazy upside-down world were the natural assets of a woman are tossed in favor of rock-hard chest skin stretching atrocities that seem to exists only to be a dark affront to the very deity of creation.

Man, how could we all sleep in a world like that? Especially if in that dystopia doctors would rather make a quick buck off shallow women and pathetic men than donate their time to help people who need it, like I donno maybe breast cancer survivors?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

We're All Children of God : Hasan Salaam (my frist celebrity interview!)

Hasan Salaam

A chat about his new cd and "that Dirty Jerz Mentality"




Hasan Salaam, New Jersey born rapper with a voice like wet electric sex tickling your ear , he uses it to carry messages that resonate long after the beat does on your ear drum.
Hasan Salaam has appeared in publications like The Source and on Fuse Music network, Mun2 TV and Show Time At the Apollo.

He maybe “Mr.Unsigned Hype” but he’s no amature, according to his website, Hasan Salaam has graced stages with Dead Prez, Common, Busta Rhymes, Saigon, Talib Kweli, The Rza, The Gza, Slick Rick, Lord Jamar, Sadat X, Smif N Wesson, Grandmaster Caz, Curtis Blow, Immortal Technique, Pharoahe Monch, Naughty By Nature, & Digital Underground ,Redman, Kidz in the Hall, Akir, Bashir, & DJ GI Joe. His career “highlight” came in 2007 when he had the pleasure of rocking with living legend Afrika Bambaataa.

Hasan Salaam gained praise early in his career with his first album Paradise Lost. He won two awards at the 2005 Underground Music Awards , one for Best Performance and Song of the Year for the single Blaxploitation.

He is active in the community and in the lives of its youth. In Newark he volunteers for the Essex County Youth House, a rehabilitation center for troubled youth.

Hasan Salaam is currently on tour in the UK and Germany.

Observer: Can you tell us about your current project?
Hasan Salaam: My new project is called Children Of God, its about the mathematics of life.

Observer: Mathematics of life? Sounds complicated.
Hasan Salaam: Not really, its just passing on knowledge that we all learn from growing up.
Observer: Especially in Jersey?

Hasan Salaam: Yeah, I'm originally from Camden and spent a lot of my childhood in Jersey City. When you think about it, the only thing we don't got in Jersey is a desert. There's so much variety, growing up in Camden, Jersey City and Teaneck showed me that. Here in Jersey you can pretty much have all of it.
Observer: So you think that being a Jersey boy help shape you and your music?
Hasan Salaam: Yeah, It's the “Dirty Jerz” mentality. Right next to New York, but we can be laid back and suburban, we can get a little country, or grimy.

For me, growing up, Jersey City was grimy. Watching it change ,through gentrification , showed how much people that have don't give a fuck about those that don't have.

At one point Jersey City was the fastest growing city- faster than Vegas and all they got around them is desert. They were tearing down people's homes to build condos for some rich motherfuckers.

I grew up seeing two very different faces of Jersey, when I was a kid, Camden was the murder capital of the world. I would got from there and Jersey City to Teaneck.

Teaneck is a suburban place, but historically it was one of the few places were suburban Blacks were allowed there were so many positive role models. I saw the good and the bad. I really want to show that good.

Observer: What do you think hip-hop now is so focused on the bad?

Hasan Salaam: The oppressor is always obsessed with the oppressed. Hip Hop now is kind of a racist's wet dream.

Observer: Strong words, if you saw someone big in the game, say 50 Cent in the elevator, what would you say to him?
Hasan Salaam: Yo, if I met 50Cent in the elevator I would day “Peace” - ya know what I say to everyone. I'm not going to tell him “ You killed hip hop.” Many Men is one of my favorite songs.

Observer: Where can people get your music?

Hasan Salaam: My new album and the old ones are available at CDbaby.com/cd/hasansalaam4 , Itunes, Amazon.com, Rhapsody and they can catch the video for the single 15 Minutes on youtube and of course HasanSalaam.com.


Keep Coming Back Like Herpes

Varied styles and heavy themes make Hasan Salaam's "Children of God" phenomenal

ZACHARY HUFF LIFE AND LEISURE EDITOR

Posted: 3/24/09


Salaam's voice deserves special mention. It's not easy to describe, but it's impossible to forget. Simultaneously deep, rough and endearing, his flow always sounds effortless and perfect for whatever he's rapping about.

It struck me hard while Hasan Salaam's album spun around in my CD player. Variety is almost nonexistent on albums lately. I'm not complaining; I'm a huge fan of concept albums, long and grand narratives spanning the entirety of a collected work of music.

But juxtapositions simply have no place on most albums. Politically charged artists need to hit me with twelve tracks of the same subject. Someone's talking about drugs and the shady side of life? I usually have to hear about it, almost to a redundant effect.

Hasan Salaam keeps “Children of God” from ever falling into a one-track mind kind of album. Instead, he hits so many different styles and subjects that it's easy to get lost in your own little world of deep thought while listening.

Take “Deliver my Soul” for example. Salaam presents an earnest overview of an unglamorous, realistic look at life as it isn't presented in the movies: shitty jobs, difficulties with women and falling into less than admirable means to survive. He trades verses with guest Majesty over a simple yet pitch perfect backing track that feels ripped from a detective movie.

Maya Azucena's phenomenal vocals on the chorus are heavenly, dripping in richness and evoking the spirit of soul artists of the past. Having her bright vocals against the gritty tale of surviving by any means necessary creates an unusual yet beautiful composition of a track.

Salaam's voice deserves special mention. It's not easy to describe, but it's impossible to forget. Simultaneously deep, rough and endearing, his flow always sounds effortless and perfect for whatever he's rapping about.

Lyrically, “Suga” is a fantastic love note clearly created by strong feelings. But Salaam's vocals make the track even stronger and believable, with a lovesick swagger breaking away at his smooth, deep voice.

Some tracks from the album are very politically charged, with Salaam's strong observations and unflinching delivery making his ideas all the more stronger. “Someplace” is a down key, piano-driven examination of gentrification under the guise of “urban renewal.” As Salaam raps, “tenements becoming condos worth hundreds of thousands/ so single moms with three mouths to feed get forced up out of 'em.”

His restrained, almost quiet vocals bleed a silent resentment that resides right below the surface of many people who are fucked over by the system that inexplicably and irrefutably keeps them from advancing, prospering… even surviving.
“Insomniac PT.1 (Nightfall)” is an almost scathing depiction of life as Salaam has seen it, with shitty living conditions (“poisoning the drinking waters/ only raise the cancer rate”) and segregation (“gates separate communities based on what we make”) at the forefront. Blares of horns punctuate the constant heavy percussion to create a feeling of urgency that is matched perfectly by Salaam's rapid. breathless delivery.

My personal picks for the best tracks on the album are definitely “Angel Dust” and “The Downrock.”

“Angel Dust” is disgustingly addictive and perfectly arranged and produced.

The bouncy funk groove and layered sampling combine with the guest Lord Jamar's vocal contributions to form one hell of a track that will remain lodged in your brain long after you've put the album down.

Salaam recounts the story of a girl forced to resort to shady means to survive, falling into temptations and doing what she has to do to feed her newfound afflictions; as Salaam raps, “she hates cocaine but loves the smell.” The allure of the girl is clear, and this tale of a fallen angel is heavy and catchy at the same time.

“The Downrock,” companion to “The Uprock,” feels like it'd be right at home in cheesy 70s kung-fu flicks, with heavy fuzz guitars immediately setting the mood of the track. Then, out of left field, Arabic rhythms float in from light horns and string arrangements poke their heads out now and then to create a strange amalgamation of a track.

The feverish raps from Rugged N Raw, BadSportt and Smarty Pants all create a distinct urgency that is perfect for “trying to see who can compete against whose moves on the floor.” Be sure to listen to this track in private should you feel compelled to breakdance and don't know how to; it'll make you want to move, whether you know what you're doing or not.

In all honesty, an album hasn't struck me in quite the way that Hasan Salaam's “Children of God” has.

It is never boring, always moving forward and keeping things interesting with varied subjects and a strong mix of sampling and instrumentation.

The production is amazing, matching the lyrics and delivery of Salaam perfectly. I can't think of a reason to not pick up the album and give it a listen; you're bound to find at least a few tracks that really hit you.

The work as a whole, though, is a fantastic example of how a little variety goes a long way.
© Copyright 2009 Observer

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I love you Internet, I truly Do

One day If I try as hard as I can, I'll be 1/8 as fabolous as this bitch here.



Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Watchmen: End is Nigh - Straight Booty Juice!



Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3
Release date:March 4, 2009
Genre(s) Action
Mode(s) Single-player, co-op
Rating(s) ESRB: M (Mature)


The downloadable game is available Steam , XboxLive and via the Playstation network was available to play March 4th. The editor of the original comic , Len Wein wrote the story and Dave Gibbons served as art consultant.

This game is straight booty juice, it clocks in a little shorter than the running time of the movie playing straight through. The highlight of the game is the animated comics akin to the ones offered on itunes.

Len Wein was the editor of the original comic, and while he was great at making sure there were no run-ons and dangling participles he has NO grasp what made the dialogue pop with resonance. It felt cheap and rushed.

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Nothing that calls itself a game should have gameplay be the most annoying part. There is not strategy or sophistication. I would like to say it’s reminiscent of a 3D Streets of Rage, but those games were enjoyable.

The story is a prequel to the movie/comic and takes place in the 1970’s when Nite-Owl II and Rorschsach were partners.

Gameplay is pretty much button mashing , there are no co-op movies or anything to break up the monotony . It was somewhat amusing to fight as Rorschsach an go upside a prison inmates head with a crow bar, but the act lost is luster quickly.

Even though its only $20 I’ll say its not worth it, I’m sure all the juicy bits will be on YouTube in a month and it will save you the chore and sore thumbs of playing.

Who's Watching the Watchmen? Hopefully you!

Action/Adventure, Thriller
March 6th, 2009

Rated R
strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language.

STARRING
Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Patrick Wilson

DIRECTED BY:
Zack Snyder

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Watchmen is an intellectually heavy and intricately created masterpiece of sequential story telling.

To say the least, I was an established fan long before I ever thought a movie would be possible, even though such rumors are almost as old as I am. Simply put, I’ve always thought Alan Moore was the comic book world’s equivalent to Kafka.

There has been no piece of literature to touch me more than his masterpiece, Watchmen. When I first flipped through the comic’s pages in the loud food court of Paramus Park mall, it made me confront fears about the world and myself, even about the very basis of our system of morality. It has influenced my choice of major, but simultaneously causes me to question that choice everyday.

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Watchmen, the comic and film, follows a small group of former masked vigilantes in an alternative 1985: the US won Vietnam, the Pentagon Papers never were printed, Russia and the US are about to have WWIII and super heroes are just part of the fabric of everyday life. The murder of a government-sanctioned hero, The Comedian (who isn’t as funny as the name would suggest), sets off a chain of events that may save or destroy humanity.

Many nerds felt Watchmen, the movie, was like StarCraft Ghost; Sure, it sounded sweet, and you might see some concept art or some set designs, but it just wasn’t going to happen. That not withstanding, I’ve been waiting for this movie for the better part of my adult life.

As an elitist fan of the comic, I actually thought the Hollywood version of Watchmen would be a travesty and I would go opening night so I could be the first person to rip it a new one. I was delightfully disappointed. No sardonic paragraphs calling for Zach Snyder’s head will be found here. The movie was as good a movie as one could hope to be made from such rich and deep source material.

While Snyder does give Watchmen his own brand of stylized violence, he had sense enough to know that this isn’t a “super hero” movie; this is a movie about the very flawed and very human people “under the hood.” Those of you that go to the theatre expecting to see X-men 4 are going to be extremely disappointed.

Calling Watchmen a superhero action movie is like saying Ralph Ellison’s Battle Royal is a story about a really zany graduation party.
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This movie for the most part is not going to make you feel good; instead, it rips out the darkest part of the human heart and smears it across the screen. I’m not referencing the gore, though there is plenty. What I’m talking about is how excruciatingly human every character is, even the god-like Dr. Manhattan.
The characters, despite being covered head-to-toe in latex or not being covered with anything at all, will seem more real to you than most people you know. They seem real because they inhabit our real flaws, hopes and fears.

There are a lot of scenes and subplots cut out. Some of them had some of the best dialogue in the graphic novel. But as sad as I was to not see them, I think they would have overloaded the movie and confused viewers that were unfamiliar with the comic. The editing of the movie was as seamless as is probably possible.

As a fan familiar with the novel, it was a little jarring to feel gaps missing, but I can see the reason for cutting those parts. I hope that some of it will see the light in a director’s cut, but I know there will never be a page for page, word for word Watchmen movie.

I think the movie works because the team behind it opted for omission and editing as opposed to adding a lot of content to the story that was never intended to be there. It kept the integrity of the story intact. Even the ending that was changed due to content being taken out of the movie made sense. And I’ll be brave enough to say, it was an improvement on the ending of the graphic novel.

What really shines about the movie from a design point of view is the wardrobe. While some characters had their trademark outfits overhauled, it worked. NiteOwl’s suit reflected more a man who studied aerodynamics. Silk Specter II’s outfit was a lot sexier than in the graphic novel, but to me seemed to be a nod to the outfit overhauls of many female comic book characters in the 80s. I remember as a little girl wondering why the Uncanny X-men started having an uncanny resemblance to a Fredrick’s Of Hollywood Catalog.

All in all, this isn’t a film I recommend you just see; I recommend you see it at least three times, as well as getting acquainted with Moore’s masterpiece, the inspiration for the movie! Unless you think Twilight was good. In that case, I hear Wal-Mart has some neat coloring books (and bleach tastes like sunshine. Try it!).

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Update on Dusty

he's okay!

Watchmen Movie review ..coming soon

Okay I saw Watchmen at the first available showing, I'll post my review here as soon I edit out all my obviously fan girl elitism and references to Twilight fans drinking bleach.

in the meantime enjoy :

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Saving Dusty ( and my faith in my fellow man)


The whole premise of this column has been to show the disgusting underbelly of the Internet and in turn the human soul, but I wouldn't be a responsible writer if I let an example of everything good about the to internet go unnoticed.

Anonymous though rumored to have launched the first cyber attack to physically harm people, (posting flashing gif images on a epilepsy support forum) and single handily making Rick Astley relevant again, they did something Valentine's weekend that warmed the heart more than any hallmark card or overpriced rose.

The Internet Hate Machine saved Dusty.

An Oklahoma teen uploaded a YouTube video depicting him and another teen viciously attacking his black cat Dusty.

The two laughed like maniacs while a sad and broken cat mournfully cried.

In the video two teen locked a cat in a shower stall, picked the cat up by the neck and slammed it into the tile wall and then punched the cat .

The offending video was brought to the attention of the random board of one of the group's anonymous image boards, their cold hearts melted and a glimmer of humanity shone through.

The two broke the most vital rule of the internet, not Rules 1 and 2, but they messed with a kitty on Anonymous's watch. Anonymous might not think the internet is serious business but those guys do not screw around when it comes to their kitties.

Not only did the group get the offensive video off YouTube and the teen's channel deleted, they went above and beyond what many people would have done.

They went through great lengths to have Dusty the cat rescued from his abuser.

When the video hit YouTube and the Anonymous websites people from all over the world, Europe, Africa, Asia and South America all pooled their resources together to help a little kitty that couldn't stand up for itself.

Calling themselves "Operation Dustyice " to locate the boy, it took the group three hours to identify the teen and alert his mother to the abuse.

Not satisfied with teen just having his dirt bike taken away the group went to the news outlets in the teen's Oklahoma town.

The town's Sheriff Kenny Stradley, was called into the station to view the video and arrested the two boys in the video; they also found more abuse videos of another cat, Patches.

The teen uploaded the initial abuse video on February 16th and by the next day the boys were arrested and charged with two counts of animal abuse.

Dusty was taken from the house on Sunday and the second cat was rescued that Tuesday.

The Anonymous run Neverforgetdusty.com has a link for those who wish to make donations in Dusty's name to the ASPCA so more abused animals can be rescued and cared for in a less unorthodox matter.

What touches me so much about this story is that none of these people had to do anything for this cat. It wasn't their cat and in the scheme of things the cat's happiness and well-being will have no bearing on their lives.

It took thousands of people helping a little to make a world of difference for one poor creature.

They are anonymous , and thus will never get any recognition for the work that they did, they won't make any money and most likely never even get to see the cat they did so much to save. Their efforts in the long run will benefit hundreds of animals yet to be born.

I can't ignore the irresponsibility of some who posted the name , address and email of the teens in question along with their families' information.

Animal abuse is horrible, but the act of outing the sick children will basically have the same effect as registering them as sex offenders. The next time anyone searches that teen online, they will know him only as the "Animal Abuser".

I don't personally feel sorry for this at all, because the tool did broadcast himself punching a cat and slamming it into a tile wall for "fun" and calling himself the "Animal Abuser."

I do think that branding him the animal abuser for life won't help much with any possible rehabilitation.

The damning video like, Mr.Hands, is going to be around forever and its always going to point an accusing finger at him.

This may insure a lifetime of joblessness and suspicion making him all the more deranged.

Of course, this child is all of 14- years-old and already a hateful, racist and violent being, so it's a toss up that any help for him could ever even come.

Though the two teens are reportedly going to be tried as juveniles according to www.kswo.com, there's an online petition with almost 9,000 signatures from around the world demanding they be tried as adults.

I think they have already been tried and convicted as adults in the court of public opinion all over the world. So justice…and then some has been carried out for Dusty.

Anonymous might want us to never forget Dusty because his rescue shows just how swift and accurate they can attack and take down a target, but I'll always remember Dusty for reminding me that no matter how bleak the soul, there might be some goodness left in there.

Thanks to Dusty I think there might just be hope for us after all… if we could care this much when other humans are abused. © Copyright 2009 Observer

Monday, February 16, 2009

Fat Ass No More Vid

I got the new Jillian Micheals DVD here is a preview, I'm going to review it agian after I do it for days.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fetish Supersized : Feederism



fetish |_feti sh |
noun. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

feederism |'feed er ism|
noun. deriving sexual pleasure from the act of feeding or being fed. Deriving sexual pleasure from gaining or helping another gain weight.

I thought I had seen the weirdest of sexual fetish until someone emailed me a link to a "Size Acceptance" community where I was introduced the phenomenon of "feedees" and "feeders". While this is nothing new, in fact it was the subject of a fairly popular indie horror movie 2005 "Feed" , I had never seen anything like it.

The Feeder/Feedee community is an offshoot of the "fat admirer" community and divides its mother community often. While most fat admirers have a visual fetish for obesity, a feeder is aroused by the watching someone consume food, monitoring weight gain or literally feeding another person food. The feedee is aroused by the act of being fed, eating and gaining weight.

I can see how such a fetish could surface, especially in our extremely weight conscious culture. When Jessica Simpson gaining ten pounds can land on every other magazine cover, it might feel liberating to just say, "I'm letting it all hang out!". Rebelling against an unreachable goal might feel great, but like every great feeling taking it to the extreme is dangerous.

What disturbs me about the feedees is that many of the vocal feedees are owners of pornographic websites, were gluttony is aligned with submission. They draw subscribers in by promising to fulfill fantasies by expanding their bodies, ignoring their own health and a few extreme cases going to so far as to wish to be fed until they are immobile.



Some of these same people feel that they are working to help the world accept fat people. As a fat girl, this makes me see red. This is like NAMBLA thinking they are pioneers in gay rights crusade. I can't think of a bigger mockery of fat people than for a person who claims to have started 5'11 and 160 and ballooned to 450 pounds for the sexual gratification others to say they are representing size acceptance.

The perception of fat people as wonton immoral gluttons is exactly what feeds the apprehension many have for overweight people. I certainly did not spend hours upon hours of my day eating and rubbing my belly with chocolate sauce and I'd vouch for most plumpers when I most have no interest in gaining for pleasure. Why are these gainers and fetishizers of fat mad the mouthpieces of overweight people so often on talk shows?

I don't want a suicidal person talking for me, that's the only word I can use to describe a person that wants to gain over 300 pounds in under 10 years. The human body just isn't made to withstand that.

Obesity carries so many health risks. The quality of life of a person who is 400 pounds is just not something to be desired. Labored breathing, aching joints, not to mention the increased risk of infertility all things that come with morbid obesity.

Being a feedee is simply not worth it. A feeder who is interested in you willingness to hurt yourself cannot have any long term interest in you. The feedee to the feeder is no more than a shoe to a shoe fetishist. , they are just a vehicle to get thrills from. When you die another feedee can be found and fed until she dies. A feeder can do this forever but a feedee's body can only take so much abuse.

To me it is a disgusting and immoral act to encourage someone to commit acts that will hurt and in the long run kill them. While there's nothing legally to be done about feederism, all there can be done is to actively voice opposition to the objectification of women in the guise of admiration.

Perhaps these women feel that this is their only way of being admired and worshiped, many claimed to love themselves- but how can you love yourself without taking care of yourself? Heart disease is the number one killer of women, and the number one cause of heart disease is obesity.

Does that turn you on?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

This disturbed me on SO MANY levels.

the internt rapes my childhood literally once agian.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I'm not dead!

I've been trying to get this internship , and its a big to do with the school's registrar and the company. Don't worry, I'll be bemoaning the wiles of the internet this week.

In the meantime- WHAT THE FUPPETS!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

2008: Year of the Cam-Whore

2009 is already here, but I wanted to take a look back on the worst the Internet had to offer us in 2008. There were so many train wrecks to watch on the net mainly because 2008 was the year of the webcam, now that high quality cameras are readily available everyone wanted to be a star… and oh lordy how our eyes and ears suffered.
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Emily before and after youtube fame, Forrow Your Dreams Emiry -___-'

YouTube makes a star… a soft-core porn star. Two years ago a young girl obsessed with Japan with much love for their language started making “ pretty intense” Japanese lessons, she became a YouTube sensation.

Applemilk1988 by 2008 was the darling of Youtube. I know what you’re thinking, how is this the worst? Well around September 2008 Emily ,now living in Japan, announced that she was doing some modeling and releasing a DVD. She called herself an “Idol” which is Japanese for “video ho”.

Though the video and still shots earned her a spot on G4’s women on the web, you can’t help but think, if the poor girl has only been in Japan for a year and was already making soft-core wank DVDs what does the future really hold for her? Many of these Japanese DVD idols end up doing porn… and if there’s any porn worst that Japanese porn I’ve yet to see it.

My prediction - by next year she’ll have eels in at least one of her sexual orifices. She says that she wants to become a singer and that’s the only reason why she’s bouncing around in wet lingerie but as the second most subscribed YouTube user in Japan wouldn’t it be easier to just make a YouTube video showing off your vocal skills? It’s Japanese pop music not the Metropolitan Opera, you don’t have to try that hard.



Video sharing sites became heaven for pedophiles. It seemed almost every other week in 2008 there was some YouTube video shot by children or by parents that had other users screaming for child protective services. Children yelling profanity sometimes even children pole dancing (next to mom of course)

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Mommy and Me Pole dancing, there's nothing wrong with that...except everything.

It seems that everywhere you looked there were children being exploited for the entertainment of their parents and to the delight of all the Humbert Humberts of the world. I’m not saying that any mother that videotapes their toddler attempts to dance is exploiting them, but when the toddler is grinding to Britney Spears in booty shorts and belly shirt I think we have a problem.

Larry Sinclair- I had sex coked up gay sex with Obama! Obama girl wasn’t the only person, who had fantasies about Obama in 2008 Larry Sinclair went on YouTube during the primaries to tell the world that he had gay sex with Obama in his limo.

The seemingly toothless Sinclair sat in front of a webcam to annouce that he was at an upscale establishment in Chicago when he met Obama ( he calls him Barry), they got in Sinclair’s limo where Obama gave him cocaine while Obama smoked crack. Oh Jebus, how I wish I were making this up.

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This tool made more money than me in 2008...RAGE! Seriously where is his teeth.
Well, Sinclair was pretty much ignored by every respected news source and he made more videos and a blog blaming that on liberal media bias. That doesn’t explain why Fox News snubbed him, they thought Barak the Magic Negro was appropriate.

Sinclair went on to make a website www.larrysinclair.org which looks pretty much like the website that everyone made in their high school HTML class. On the site he begs for paypal donations and pre-sells copy of his book BARACK OBAMA & LARRY SINCLAIR: Cocaine, Sex, Lies & Murder? What makes this sad is just how embarrassing it is.

I’ve never seen a human being so desperate to be a news story. When he was approached by Whitehouse.com (a satire/adult) website to take a polygraph test, he failed to see that they were openly mocking him.

Perhaps , he was just in it for the cash- Whitehouse.com did offer to pay him ten thousand dollars to take the test and another $90,000 if he passed.

Well he failed the test. Undaunted Sinclair went to Antipolygraph.org for help, to say that he’s still telling the truth and it’s the machines that can’t be trusted. It seems kind of damning, at least to me that he keeps all his posts up, especially those where Sinclair pleads that all he needs is a polygraph test, then when he gets one and fails suddenly the tests aren’t trust worthy?

It also doesn’t help that Sinclair’s websites and videos are used to prove that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ, apparently the anti-Christ has to be a gay crack head. Sinclair claims he has pre-sold over 200 copies of his book through paypal, at $25 each, that would mean that Sinclair has made $15,000 off this stunt. If that’s not the worst I don’t know what is.

Bonus Video-
Larry being clearly insane.

Seriously... Kick rocks, dude.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Twilight Sucked ..and not in a good way


original print: 12/16/08

How the movie Twilight has managed to make over $30 million for its opening day is baffling, but the fact that it has made over $150 million in the last three weeks, I find just disheartening. There is no other way to say it; Twilight is a god awful sorry excuse for a movie. This movie is awful.

Last year I wrote an article about Two Girls One Cup, and had to watch the shock video twice, I watched it both times without getting up- I had to walk out of Twilight twice just to keep myself from attacking the screen.

That pretty much means my tolerance for scat eating lesbians throwing up feces on each other was higher than it was for this stoic, drab insult to women's intelligence.

Twilight, which opened Nov. 21, is the teenaged "love" story of Bella Swan, the town sheriff's daughter and a local vampire pretty boy, Edward Cullen. The movie is based on the four book series by Stephanie Meyer.

I would usually advise to read the book, but they too are terrible.

You can't quite call it a vampire love story mainly because all supernatural elements of the story take a back seat to adolescence self importance and babbling about how special and great the two main characters are.

What this movie really consists of is two pale brunettes staring at each other with their mouths open for over 90mins.

There really isn't a love story either, about 10 minutes after meeting Edward, Bella wakes up and announces that she's in love with him.

Literally, she rolls out of bed , makes a short soliloquy about how much she can't stop thinking about him, and BAM- she's in love.

Its frustrating watching this, because the writer of the movie, has written several episodes of the hit show Dexter, a smart witty and sometimes gruesome show about the worlds most lovable serial killer. I kept asking myself where did all that talent go? In all honesty you have to remember that an adaptation can only be as good as it's source material, and comparatively the writer of the movie made Bella a much less offensive character.

The book has Bella more of a self-loathing ugly duckling and Edward, well he's still as much of a creepy stalker as he is in the book, but most of Edward watching Bella sleep at night was thankfully cut. The movie version of Bella opted to have her have no personality at all than have her be pathetic.

This is no Romeo and Juliet, Twilight lacks the bite of conflict. Sure Bella is a human, and Edward is a vampire, but he's a vegetarian vampire…he doesn't eat people. Note to the author of twilight- Deer are not vegetables as they are made of meat.

The reason that Edward doesn't want to go into the sunlight, spontaneous (awesome) combustion?

Nope, the reason is he'll sparkle like stripper that went overboard on the Fredrick's of Hollywood body dust.

Bella is the new girl at school did she feel like an awkward outcast? No,everyone instantly loves her, Edward's family instantly loves her, there's absolutely nothing to keep one invested in the cardboard problem free characters.

The first set of characters we meet are the children at Bella's school, they are all stock characters, the geeks, the pretty popular girls and the dumb jock , the all American stud. The second group are the Cullen's Edward's beautiful incestuous family.

They all seem to serve the purpose to tell the viewer that they love Bella, and we should accept that she's lovable even though she's given us no reason to care about her.

Bella's multi-culture pals were white in Meyer's book; the casting director decided that throwing in some minorities would liven up the film. I'm all for multi-ethnic casts, but when the dumb jock is the only black man in the movie, and the only two Asians are "nerds" you have to ask what was the point. Why not just stay at stereotypes without upgrading to racism.

This is most uncomfortable when the dumb jock loses control of his car and almost kills Bella in the school parking lot, of course her vampiric love is there to save the day, Bella is not harmed.

The Jock driving has a bleeding head wound and as he hangs out of the smoking car all he can do is apologize to Bella, as those around him scream and admonish him for almost hurting her.

The next scene is in a hospital where Bella is getting the attention of nurses; the bleeding black man is sitting alone, and then is told by Bella's father that he's losing his license.

My movie-watching companion made a joke that there was probably a deleted cross-burning scene, I laughed but I have to admit it would have fit seamlessly.

I'm sure it would be a close up of Bella long black hair blowing in the wind as the sheriff's department drag the jock out of his house and stomp on him, blurred in the background. If they can have vampires playing baseball why not, right?

The last 30 minutes of the movie is the only part of the movie with an attempt at conflict. Three bad vampires show up during a baseball game, yes you read that correctly.

For no reason other than to fill time one of the vampires wants to eat Bella.

This results in Edward trying to take Bella against her will to "protect her". This is also the point were I realize that this love story is one backhand away from being a Lifetime channel movie.

The Cullens try to save Bella, because they love her for no good reason. The bad vampire beats the crap out of her , which I have to admit was strangely satisfying to watch.

The good vampires rip him to pieces and set him on fire. Sounds awesome right? WRONG, You don't get to see it!

While the bad guy is getting dismembered the camera doesn't focus on this, it focuses on Bella and Edward staring at each other, because that the director felt was more interesting than a dismembered dude on fire.

Well, Catherine Hardwicke it's not.

Twilight is a horrible movie, made from a horrible book. The fact that people are giving this movie a pass because it was made for teenaged girls should be an insult to women everywhere.
© Copyright 2009 Observer

Fat Ass No More: Having a POLE lot of fun!

One RU Student's path to fitness.

original print : 12/9/08

It seems like a lifetime since I started on my odyssey of fitness and self-improvement; I've been at this since May. There's been a lot of blood, tears and Gatorade for me this year, but through it all I found myself bored. The only thing that changed in my fitness routine was that time I had less to work out.

Because of work, classes and ,of course the glorious paper you hold in your hands (or read on-line), fitness had taken a back seat.

I found my self bored and lacking inspiration. I was waking up in the morning, throwing on a work out DVD going to class, going to work then going to the gym if I had the time to spare. I bet you yawned reading that sentence, imagine that as your life for 3 months.

I consider myself a resourceful woman, and when I see a problem I like to attack it directly. I didn't want my boredom to give way to lethargy. I needed to shake up my fitness routine. I wanted something fun, something that would make me feel good as well as look good.

Like most of life's problems YouTube solved this one, I noticed a video attached to one of mine that I never noticed before. It was call Miss Pole Dance Australia 2006, in it a small red haired Aussie performed Cirque De Soleil like feats of acrobatics, flexibility and strength. I was mesmerized. It was right then I knew what I had to do. I needed to learn the art of the pole.

I'm not the first woman to come to this conclusion. Since the beginning of the sexual revolution women have been reclaiming "erotic" arts as their own. Practicing these acts help women to enjoy their bodies without having to sexually gratify a man or feel degraded. There's no reason that a woman should feel ashamed just because she's moving her body. She should feel strong confident and beautiful.

Hungry for that feeling I looked for a studio in Newark to no avail, not to be discouraged I found a studio that could be easily reached using the Path train. One block away from the 33rd street path station lies, Exotic Dance Central, a cozy inviting studio that welcomes " the everyday woman".

On their website, ExoticDanceCenter.com they boast that they're "NYC's number one pole and exotic dance central" and I don't argue with them. I've never seen dance studio with a martini bar. If my high school ballet studio had one I might have never hung up my toe shoes.

The Erotic Dance Center offers a 2hr pole dancing intensive lesson for 60 dollars. It seemed like a steal because the only other 3 studios that offered pole dancing charged that or more for just one hour. I figured with my strong background in dance and frugal leanings this was where I belonged.

Of course, I did modern, lyrical and jazz dance. If dance were Greek city-states, ballet would be Athens, and pole dancing would be Sparta - not historically accurate Sparta , but 8-pack-sporting-panty-wearing- Frank Miller- Sparta. A gravity defying full body work out.

Exotic Dance Central's website lets you book and pay for classes online, so I made sure to book the first available intensive after Thanksgiving, -- if there's ever a time you need an intense workout its after ingesting 5 different types of pies.

The website tells you what you can and cannot wear, I was happy to see that I needed stiletto heels that are least 3 inches high. Finally, my two favorite things were coming together, "f" me shoes and fitness. I was far less happy to read I had to wear a tank top; I usually have an issue showing my flab in public, or at least well-lit places. Luckily for me and other shy women, the classes are female only.

The class was small only 12 people including our friendly instructor Alieesah. The chorus line was full of interesting people, save myself. Before we started the workout Alieesah asked each of us what brought us to the class. I felt horribly shy for some reason, and mumble something about being a special event dancer.

A bad joke, sadly weddings and bat mitzvahs are the only special events in which I'm able to dance.

I found that one of the ladies was a bride-to-be and brought three of her friends along to kick off her bachelorette party. There were a group of ladies that actually looked like they stepped out of Greek lore; they were fitness instructors looking to bring pole fitness to their gym. I tried not to look at my gut every time they flexed their abs. There was a woman who had just came from Israel, and served in the army, next to her was a woman whose husband was due home from Afghanistan and she was looking for a special welcome home.

This interesting cast of women were all sitting on yoga mats waiting to feel the burn and having no idea what was coming to them. It was a strange calm, we all sat barefoot listening to the soothing music from our instructor's Ipod. She led us through a nice warm up, stretching each portion of ourselves. If it weren't for the cold steal of the pole touching my ankle when I stretched in second position on the floor, I would have forgotten that I was in a pole dance studio and not a ballet one. Barefoot , limber and sweaty I felt in my element.

That feeling fled once it was time to meet the pole. Alieesah began to talk about "pole burn" , the nickname for the friction between your skin and the pole. It is every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds. My first introduction to this sensation was during our first pole exercise. I was instructed to grab the pole well above my head, grasp tightly and lift my legs off the ground. Sounds easy to you? Well then you are not a portly young lady with the upper body strength of a dead quadriplegic.

As I gripped with all my might and tried to keep my legs up, I could feel my skin and the pole going to war, and the pole was winning. It was an odd feeling, I had to chose between my skin being stretched or being "that fat girl that fell during pole dancing class" every time that bride to the story of her last outing as a single woman.

I refused; I held on to that pole with all my might, unfortunately gravity was mightier.

Tumbles aside, I found myself having fun, especially at the one hour mark of the class when I got to put on my 6.5 inch heels. It was kind of cool being 6'3 and a half. While it was hard for me to get past the controlled chaos that is swinging on the pole, I had fun strutting around and feeling … surprisingly sexy albeit the most clumsy unattractive brand of Sexy, akin maybe to the No Frills section of Pathmark.

Pole dancing is hard, and there really is no way around it. It's a shame that most of the people that excel at this skill are only rewarded with sweaty crumbled bills. What they deserve is applause and flowers; sadly that's not the case, yet. Feminist protest aside, any workout than can turn a fat ass into six feet-three-inches and 250 pounds of walking sex piled on top of itself has to be worth looking into.


For More Information or to have a pole adventure of your own go to ExoticDanceCentral.com
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