Original printing - 11/13/07
There comes a time in everyone's lives where they encounter character defining evil. For me that evil was 2girls1cup.com.
It is a meme so vile nothing is said to top it. This one minute of inexplicable hatred of humanity and all that is good is found on 2girls1cup.com and its mirror site cupgirls.
I honestly don't advise you watch it.
I don't mean that in an "I'll tell them not to watch it so they watch it" kind-of-way. I'm seriously telling you that this movie with destroy any remnant of child-like wonder you can see the world through.
After viewing this, colors will seem duller, the sun won't seem to shine the same, and chocolate peanut butter ice cream will be, to say the least, unappealing.
I'll try to break down the horror for you.
0:01 - Strange haunting systhizier music begins to swell in the background and all you see is a mysterious tag MFX 1209. Why. what it that, you ponder?
0:06 - MFX 1209 is just a memory and there are two scantily-clad lasses before you. For me, I was not too interested as I'm not a fan of pornography as a whole, especially the type with chicks in it. As the haunting music continues, you think to yourself, "Well, here's the two girls but one element is missing..."
0:13 -The cup. It all goes wrong. You're looking at something disgusting, wrong; you would gouge out your own eye if you could only move your hands. You can barely muster "Why?"
You don't know if you are crying because your body begins to numb, it's the only coping mechanism keeping you alive. Oh, and the music. The damn music, the twinkling sounds the hopeful chords are all arranged to mock your pain, make light of your anguish, and fap to your suffering.
0:25 - You want to hit them. You want them to feel the pain they are causing you. You really don't want to smell their tooth brushes. You know hate tongues and teeth and smiles, the vile wenches have sullied them and they'll never be clean again. There's a sinking feeling in your stomach. You want to close your eyes, but you just can't. You hate yourself for watching but it doesn't stop you. Every note makes the newly formed hole in your soul expand.
0:40 - This is the only thing that makes sense, it's almost cathartic, for you to want to be ill all over your computer desk.
But the vomit is almost too good for these horrible women and their cup of evil. You ask God to save you, but every deity has turned their back on you because of the heap of coprophilia, coprophagia, emetophilia, and vomerophilia that is being shoved down your throat.
0:58 - They remind you why you must cry and why the world is an awful place. You envy still-born babies and the blind. Your soul has become a vacuum. You are no longer the person you were 60 seconds ago. You realize that that thing you felt dying inside you was weakness, and you're stronger now. For 2girls1cup is a part of you and you are now a part of it.
After a minute, it's over you have looked evil in the eye and escaped with your sanity- you hope. You know there's only one thing left to do.
You have to show it to ALL your friends.
Copyright 2007 Observer
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