orginal print : 3/11/08
I, Sheena Quashie, was an addict. My Internet connection as well as friends and family have been enabling me for at least 4 years. I've been a fiend drooling at the mouth of every email promising savings, with my bank card info memorized.
My addiction?
Shopping.
I can remember the first time I made a purchase online. It was blouse from BabyPhat.com; it was a steal for only $39.95: a fraction of the original cost. The shirt was a size too big a month later.
Since that purchase I've been mouse-clicking my troubles away.
Got a bad grade? Buy shirt.
Feeling a little down? How about some 300 dollar shoes that you'll NEVER wear.
This was my life.
My shopping had got so bad at one point when I was living in the Robert Treat that my roommate made me round up all my purchases and start tossing or at least moving out of the room so we had room to move around.
I had crammed clothes and shoes where ever they could fit. I had over 40 pairs of shoes that I had never worn. There was over 300 dollars worth of lingerie still in the box that it was delivered in. Not to mention the $2,500 card that I had already maxed out that I was only making bare minimum payment on.
My closet was full of clothes and shoes with tags still on them or receipts in the box - just in case I needed to return them to get more clothes. I was even shipping things from my job to hide them from my worried suitemates.
I was a shopoholic, and online stores were my favorite destination. I have never ate, smoked or ingested any type of illegal drug. So I won't begin to try to compare the two; all I know was that when I was shopping I felt good, and when I wasn't I didn't.
I had never noticed how much of my online time was spent buying crap, until I noticed that I was no longer buying groceries, doing laundry on campus or even going to events - all so I could expand my shopping budget.
Shopping addiction is just like any other non-narcotic-based addiction, according to Prof. Ruth Engs, RN, EdD of the University of Indiana's website. Only instead of eating crack, you're "buying to get a high, or get a 'rush' just like a drug or alcohol addict."
It was a slow process, but I finally broke my cycle. I cut up my card and just paid off the bills, making payments well above the minimums.
I also cut down on clothing purchases by asking myself to imagine three occasions where I would wear any garment.
If I thought a garment was only good to wear to the club, I had to remind myself that I haven't been up in the club for at least a year.
Most importantly, I put a barrier between me and ads. I was always weakest when caught off guard, when I was browsing my favorite forums or checking my Myspace.
An easy way to stop this is by right-clicking on ads and blocking their source.
I found many a stupid impulse buys started with a cleaver lure. Old navy once got 130 dollars from me with an ad asking "Do you like cashmere sweaters?"… OF COURSE I DO YOU ELECTRIC DEVIL.
In the same vein as blocking ads, I took myself off of every mailing list I could. I'll be damned if Zappos.com isn't the devil in disguise.
Impulse buying because someone is offering you $25 dollars off every $100 you spend is not saving money. You are losing $75 you never planned on spending.
Lastly I made a budget. It might seem obvious but writing your all of your purchases down BEFORE you finalize is a great roadblock against spending money.
If seeing your savings dwindle physically on paper doesn't stop you, I'm not sure anything will.
ARE YOU A SHOP-A-HOLIC?
According to Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery, behaviors typical of compulsive shopping and spending include the following:
* Shopping or spending money as a result of feeling disappointed, angry or scared
* Shopping or spending habits causing emotional distress in one's life
* Having arguments with others about one's shopping or spending habits
* Feeling lost without credit cards
* Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash
* Feeling a rush of euphoria and anxiety when spending money
* Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money
* Lying to others about purchases made or how much money was spent
* Thinking excessively about money
* Spending a lot of time juggling accounts or bills to accommodate spending
Identification of four or more of the above behaviors indicates a possible problem with shopping or spending.
Rutgers Health Services has councilors that can help you deal with these types of problems.
Center Hours:
M-F, 8:30am - 4:30pm
Center Location: 2
49 University Avenue, Blumenthal Hall, Room 104 Phone: 973-353-5231
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