This was another article that I cuaght a lot of flack for, but only from people who were angry that I made fun of the name of thier site in the article... well that and I voiced my opinion of how full of crap I thought the majority of them were. As you can imagine that made me quite unpopular. I've since decided that some people are "happy in the matrix" and even if I think something is unhealthy and wierd it makes others happy. So to each their own and lets hope those nutjobs stay off this blog.original print: 11/6/07
There are thousands of dating sites and forums around. Some started as newsgroups in the early days of Yahoo and AOL. Others are newer to the game offering hot flash sites and of course porn (if you click long enough, all sites link back to porn).
Of these dating sites the most popular and common have been interracial groups.
It seems harmless enough, people uniting in love and fellowship despite the colors of their skin; doing their part to rid the world of injustice and bigotry one passionate union at a time.
Like a Vera Wang wedding dress on a 40-dollar Broad Street hooker, the net can take a good thing and make it bad, very very bad. With names like PollyWannaCracka.com, Aznlover.com and the thankfully now defunct "Mandingo Lovers" [ed. note: site was actually called "Mandigo Love"] how can anyone take these places seriously?
And how can anyone not resist messing with these people?
Stupid people in large numbers are dangerous, history has taught us this valuable lesson many times over.
In the information age of course not only are they dangerous they can be down right hilarious and a never ending source of morbid entertainment. This phenomenon has spawned an off shoot of humanity; sometimes basement dwelling- always hunched over a computer screen laughing at the misfortune of others, this thing is called a troll.
I am sad to say. a recovering troll-a-holic.
Last year, I found one of my most lulz worthy of targets, AznLover.com, which I can say I've been banned from at least 4 times. I was invited to through Myspace, by a woman who thought we were kindred sprits simply because my boyfriend was Korean, and her boyfriend was Korean also.
I'm sure it made a lot of sense to her: she's a white lower class 35-year old All-American Christian divorcee from the mid west with a vocational school education, and I'm a frist generation Black/Asian Caribbean agnostic middle class college student.
Obviously we see the world through the same eyes all thanks to the unifying effects of genitals.
It's widely known that when people date a person of another race they instantly become bonded with everyone else that has a beau of the same hue.
If the above paragraph made you want to punch a kitten in the face, then we see eye-to-eye.
So if you so choose to journey into this dank corner of the internet you too will be amused as I was.
It was not the first time some random person sent me an invite to some group or site.
Eventually I decided to make sure that no one would ever bother me with their crap again. I decided to troll with the strongest weapon in my arsenal - the truth.
Many sites have funny taglines like, "Love is Color Blind" or "Loving All Things Asian;" filled with stock photos of multi racial models that are somehow supposed to entice someone into joining. The easiest way to cause drama and get cheap laughs is to point out the faults in them.
Any place that has a tag line suggesting color blindness but is only supporting the relations of one race with others can easily be called out for bullock.
If you posted something like, "If love is color blind, then why does this site only allow white women and black men?"
It will be the equivalent of dropping some fresh meat in a pool or piranhas. Posters lament, spew hatred and of course type insults using numbers and letters and you will have at least twenty minutes of entertainment. After spending a few months looking around sites like this I've found a few similarities and sure finds on them.
Racism and homophobia: just because a site is promoting tolerance of two races won't stop them from spitting venomous hate about other races. Many of these sites won't even permit homosexuals joining. So love is love...unless you don't love in the correct color coded heterosexual fashion.
Many sites try to make their cause sound less shallow by trying to frame it as not just partner seeking, but some kind of socio-political revolution.
One Myspace group, "White women who want to be impregnated by black men," claims to not be about unprotected sex but trying to end racism through mixed children. It worked so well for Thomas Jefferson and Strom Thurman. How can they be wrong?
Vilification is always prominent. I suppose the weaker minded can never just say they are with someone of another race simply because that person is the best partner for them and they love them. It must be the sinister workings of another larger entity.
Asian men need white women to combat negative media stereotypes of them. Indian men and black Caribbean women need to unite against sexist English colonialism. Black men need to be soothed by gentle white lasses after being emasculated by evil calculating black welfare queens.
Stereotyping is always lingering around these sites. Either perceived as positives such as Asian woman are petite, attractive and smarter than western women or negative like white women have oversized vaginas.
Sentiments like these are repeated and ground into the psyche of users. These sites should stand against stereotyping, but unfortunately a good deal of the members are there because they are so enamored with the idea of another race. An idea that is constructed mostly out of stereotypes than actual cultural identity.
It's sad and ironic that sites that were mad to foster some kind of tolerant environment end up being the dumping ground for insecurities and anger.
Ultimately these sites are doing more damage to the reputations of interracial unions than anything else. How can a healthy relationship develop is one or both parties are having a relationship with the ethnicity or race of a person and not the actual person?
When I went on my first date with my boyfriend, he took me to a restaurant mostly filled with whites and Asians. I felt uneasy with all the stares coming our way. When I asked him about it he just smiled at me and told me, "Of course they're staring, you're the most beautiful girl in the room."
I wasn't a black girl, or a Caribbean girl. I was just the woman that he had the most interest in. You shouldn't love your [insert race here] partner; you should just love your partner.
If you don't feel the same way about the person you are with, perhaps you need to re-evaluate your reasons for being with them.
© Copyright 2009 Observer
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